


healing and other short stories

by ell (amywaited)



Category: Marvel
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Gift Fic, Healing, M/M, Oops, also a bit angsty, birthday fic, probably more angsty than i hyped it up to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 05:30:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17698559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amywaited/pseuds/ell
Summary: theyll paint their pictures in the stars one day. tony'll make sure of it





	healing and other short stories

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy!

James kisses like he’s running out of time. Or like he’s already ran out of it, Tony can’t decide which. Harsh and hard, fast, sweet underladen with urgency. 

Its intoxicating in the worst way, and Tony keeps coming back for more because it’s so addictive. James kisses like he has a secret, something to hide, like he’s locked every part of himself behind a wall and its Tony’s job to pick up the pieces and make a puzzle out of them.

He doesn’t think he minds. 

James wears dark clothes day in, day out. He barely uncovers any skin, ever, and Tony gets it. He wants to feel invulnerable too, and if James needs this, he’ll give it to him. He’s getting used to holding hands with a glove, anyway. It doesn’t bother him much. 

He just had to be patient, and let James come to him. Like taming a cat, only taming James is more like taming a tiger that hasn’t been fed in three weeks and Tony is about to lose a hand.

Steve told him he’s doing fine, James just needs the support. Pepper said he’s being perfect, that he’s perfect for James and vice versa. Rhodey said its the calm before the storm, and James is a hurricane.

He’s in the workshop when he finds out. Buried up to his elbows in wires and stardust, making things out of plasticine, breathing life into old bones. Like he usually does. 

James comes in, balancing a plate between two fingers. He asks, “when was the last time you ate?” and Tony checks the clock.

“Two days ago, maybe,” Tony says. 

James glares at him and puts the plate down. “You need food. Also, I have a job for you?”

“Hm? A job? What kind of job?”

“A fixing job,” James says, nudging the plate towards his desk. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, Tony thinks, but he pulls the fork closer anyway. 

“Fixing what?” he asks, pushing his scrap metal out of the way. 

And- oh, because James looks like he’s about to cry, and he’s avoiding Tony’s eyes, and he’s fiddling with his gloves, and he says, “fixing me,” and Tony’s heart plummets. 

“Sweetheart, you don’t need fixing,” Tony says, as earnest as he’ll ever be. 

James closes his eyes and nods and breathes. “My hand. It’s..”

“It’s what?”

“It’s not… normal,” he says, sounding like he’s pushing the words out, like drawing blood from a stone. “HYDRA. They did something to it.”

And if that doesn’t raise Tony’s hackles. “They did what?”

“You have to fix it for me,” James says, desperate and laced with pain. “Please.” That’s when he starts crying, tears drawing constellations over his cheeks. 

“Fix what?” Tony asks, reaching over to hold his hand. “Tell me.”

James sniffs. “Just.. please don’t be scared. Please don’t be afraid of me.”

“I could never be afraid of you,” Tony whispers, because he couldn’t, because he loves James and he never won’t love James. 

James pulls the glove off of his left hand, harshly in some elegant way. He moves like he’s dancing a ballet, painting the story in bloody arcs. His fingers move slowly, sticky, and Tony moves the light over, watching it bounce off of the metal sitting where flesh and blood should be. 

He’s silent for too long. Silent, staring at the limb that shouldn’t be there. HYDRA had made part of James, and he shouldn’t be thinking it but he has, and James is still so beautiful. 

“When were you going to tell me?” he asks, whispers, because this feels like he’s uncovered something he was never supposed to see. He’s heard the secrets he was never supposed to. 

James sighs. “Never, if I could. It’s ugly. It’s never been a part of me. It never should have been a part of me.”

“What do you want me to do with it?” Tony asks, feeling along the ridges of it. 

“Burn it,” James says. “I hate it.”

“Then burn it we shall,” Tony says, because there isn’t much he wouldn’t do for James. “Does anyone else know?”

“I couldn’t bear to tell them,” James mutters. “They’d be afraid.”

Tony shakes his head, swallows down the tears of his own and wipes James’ away in the same breath. “No. No, they wouldn’t.”

“How do you know?” James chokes out, sounding ten shades of distressed and Tony just wants to give him all of the stars in the sky. 

“Because while I’m around, they wouldn’t have any choice,” he whispers, because he’s not lying, and he never would to James. 

It makes him scoff and look away until Tony curls fingers around his chin and lock their eyes together. “I’m serious,” he says, “I’d never let anyone hurt you again.”

“Yeah,” James says, and Tony can taste how much he doesn’t believe it. 

“You’re all the suns in my sky, sweetheart. We’ll be beautiful again,” Tony says. “And it’ll be such a privilege to be able to see it.”

**Author's Note:**

> id love to know what you, dear reader, thought of this.
> 
> till the next time! much love, ell X


End file.
